


this has been said so many times (that i'm not sure if it matters)

by magicandlight



Series: The States [7]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers, Statetalia
Genre: 5+1 Things, Aromantic Asexual Indiana, Asexual Character, Coming Out, Gen, and another installment of (dan and phil voice): GIVING THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT, the rest of the great lakes fam makes appearances, welcome to another installment of: Magic sucks at titles!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-09-01 07:40:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20254582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magicandlight/pseuds/magicandlight
Summary: for anon who said:I wish you would write a fic where Riley comes out.title from Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying (Do Your Part to Save the Scene and Stop Going to Shows) by Fall Out Boyi would suggest a drinking game where you take a shot everytime i title something with a fall out boy lyric but you'd get alcohol poisoning





	this has been said so many times (that i'm not sure if it matters)

**Author's Note:**

> for anon who said: _I wish you would write a fic where Riley comes out._
> 
> title from Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying (Do Your Part to Save the Scene and Stop Going to Shows) by Fall Out Boy  
i would suggest a drinking game where you take a shot everytime i title something with a fall out boy lyric but you'd get alcohol poisoning

one (1816)

They sleep on the porch the first day of spring, before all the bugs get the message that winter is over and make sleeping outside unbearable.

Alfred watches them drag blankets and pillows down the stairs with a bemused smile, helps them spread the thick winter quilts out.

Riley makes up constellations and Cass makes up increasingly non-sensical stories for them. She curls further into the blankets as she gets sleepier, stealing what should be Riley's half of the covers.

Riley doesn't mind as much as he probably should. "Cass?"

"Hm?"

After a second of silence, she sits up on her elbows. Riley doesn't look at her.

"I love you, but I don't ever want to kiss you."

Cass nods, understanding perfectly. "Good. I don't want to kiss you either."  
  


two (1820)

Riley feels sick every time someone looks at him and Cass together and asks in that nauseating grown-up tone if she's his 'sweetheart'.

Part of it is because they never direct that question to Cass. Or really acknowledge Cass much at all as anything other than arm candy.

But the bigger reason is that it just feels _wrong_. Riley loves Cass more than anyone in the entire world, but not that way.

He hates the implications in the smiles people give him when Cass leans her head against his shoulder, hates the way they always say _but you like her, right?_ when he says that _no_, she isn't his sweetheart, hates the way people who don't know him_ or _Cass always say that they'll come to their senses when they're older.

Riley knows Cass hates it just as much. 

They cut down on the affectionate little touches they give each other: stop ruffling each other's hair and leaning against each other and hugging in public. It's hard since they're both so tactile, but eventually, Riley stops reaching for Cass's hand when he wants her to follow him somewhere and Cass stops resting her head on Riley's shoulders. 

He hates this too, but at least it's better than people assuming things. He wishes they could just mind their own business. 

"This era of humans doesn't understand casual affection," Cordelia says pragmatically. "They're too concerned with propriety and societal roles to ever see you and Cass together and not think that you're in love. It's the only acceptable explanation, in their minds."

Riley shoots her a look. "I'm not in love with Cass, and I'm never going to be. Or with anyone, for that matter."

Cordelia studies his face for a moment before surveying the Congress floor again. "I know." 

three (1861)

There's a war that's threatening to rip the family in half when Cass drops her head onto Riley's shoulder and tells him that she's gay. 

Riley had kind of expected something like this after the whole thing with Caleb and the Cecilia-induced sexuality crisis, so he just kisses the top of her head. "I don't think I'm anything," he murmurs back, and Cass understands what he means to say without any clarification. 

four (1923)

The first time someone tells Riley that he's _wrong_, it's a psychologist the government has picked out to do the annual evaluations for the country.

Riley's made his peace with his lack of attraction, and not once until that moment did he consider that he was broken. 

He'd known that he wasn't normal per se- he didn't feel attraction, he didn't feel romantic love, the idea of having sex made him feel sick. But he never thought of himself as broken. 

Riley needs someone to tell him that's there's nothing wrong with him, which is how he finds himself shivering on Cass's doorstep instead of going home. 

He knocks, wondering if she's even home- it's late, but still early enough in the night that she could still be out, especially considering what she does. 

Riley is trying to decide whether to just go home or go searching for her spare key when the door swings open. 

It's still jarring to see Cass's hair cut into a short bob. 

"Riley?" Cass pulls her dressing gown tighter, shuddering when the cold hits her. "Come in, it's fucking freezing. What are you doing here?"

Riley pauses when he sees Cecilia's coat hanging up. "I'm sorry- I should just go-"

"What? Are you insane? It's _snowing_." Cass looks at him like he's crazy. "What's wrong?"

"Do- do you think there's something wrong with me? Because of the way I am about sex?"

Cass stares at him. "Riley." Her voice wavers like it does when she's sad. "Do you think there's something wrong with me because I'm gay?"

"No! Of course not-"

"Then why would there be something wrong with you? What brought this on?"

Riley's quiet, and Cass's eyes flick to the calendar pinned to the wall. "Didn't you have that shrink thing today? Was it that same bastard who told Cam that homosexuality was a disease?"

Riley's silence is the answer Cass is looking for. 

Cass hugs him so hard Riley's pretty sure his shoulder popped. "There's nothing wrong with you, or me, or any of us. It doesn't matter if you don't want to date people or sleep with them. It doesn't matter, okay? I love you. I love you."

Riley squeezes her tighter. "I love you, too."

five (1988)

"Are you good?" Tyler asks. He's hovering and fidgeting and probably working himself up. No matter how well Tyler passes, he doesn't like public bathrooms and probably never will. 

Riley has to think about whether he feels like he's going to throw up again. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm good."

Riley pushes himself up, Tyler catching his elbow to steady him when he struggles to find his footing. 

"Do you wanna talk about it?" 

Frankly, Riley would rather never think about being kissed or groped again. This is why he likes to stick to corner tables in bars, especially gay bars. Men are a lot bolder than women, usually. 

It isn't that he doesn't like being touched at all. Riley likes when Cordelia hugs him because she never lets go first and when Cass puts her feet in his lap when they're sitting on the couch. He doesn't even mind as much as he pretends he does when Michael puts him in a headlock (a very light one) and messes up his hair. But that isn't the same, and he knows that. 

Riley sighs. "I don't- you know I don't feel like, any sexual or romantic desire, right?"

Tyler shrugs. "Not exactly, but it makes sense."

Riley smiles wryly. "Yeah. Usually, don't actually throw up, though."

"You don't hold your alcohol very well," Tyler mutters uncertainly like he's worried it'll make Riley mad.

Riley doesn't have it in him to even be annoyed with Tyler after he'd shoved Mr. Grope. A lot worse than some stranger grabbing his ass could have happened tonight. 

Plus, it isn't like it's not true. Riley laughs. "Yeah, that's probably it. Do you know where Cass and her better half went to? I think it might be time to go out for something disgustingly greasy."

Tyler's nose wrinkles. "Does it have to be greasy?"

"I'm disowning you for asking that."

_one (2007)_

Riley knows that the words are just labels, and he doesn't really need them, but damn if it's not good to have a word that he can say and know he isn't alone. 

He doesn't feel nervous about telling his family. He's told them a dozen times throughout the years, he's just never had the words to label it. 

It feels like a good day for putting names to things. 

It would feel like any other family meal if it weren't for the smudged bi flag painted on Cordelia's cheek, the trans flag safety-pinned to Tyler's shirt like a cape, the smears of pink-purple-blue on Michael's fingertips from where he held Cordelia's face when he kissed her, the pink streaks in Cass's hair and the rainbow eyeshadow. Cordelia helped Oliver and Mindy make matching tank-tops last night, the word ally written with a rainbow of puffy paint. 

"I'm an aromantic-asexual." He says during a lull in the conversation and watches Cass grin. (She was the first person who ever heard him try on that label, the first person who had ever known.) 

Oliver smiles too. "You finally got a word! I'm so happy for you." 

Michael reaches over the table to ruffle Riley's hair and Cordelia slings her arm over his shoulder and later, they'll both tell him that they're proud of him and Riley might cry, but for now, Riley couldn't stop smiling if he tried. 


End file.
